Thursday, September 11, 2008

Are you ready for some...horrible commentary?

What I originally thought to be a brilliant move by the fine folks at ESPN's Monday Night Football has officially turned into one of the worst failures in color commentary history.

We have witnessed a huge shift in sports coverage, thanks in large part to the American viewing public. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good looking sideline reporter as much as the next guy (see: Jillian Barberie). My personal favorite is FSN-Wisconsin's Trenni Kusnierek.

And let's not forget Tony Siragusa (who someone was kind enough to compare to his likeness).

But I digress. Okay, so we've established that the days of Keith Jackson and other Ted Koppel-esque broadcasters are coming to a close. Nowadays, the viewing public wants action, controversy, and of course, a little T & A doesn't hurt.

When Al Michaels and John Madden said goodbye to MNF, I knew we were in for a tough time ahead. I mean, who can replace a football genius like Madden, who was always johnny on-the-spot with such insight as "The team that scores the most points tonight, will ultimately win this game" and "Ok, so the quarterback does his job and throws the ball, and the running back does his job by running. It's that simple."

Hmm...who could replace about a has-been comedian that nobody likes, and who knows very little about sports in general, to add some color to the booth.

(Stage left: enter Dennis Miller with matching sportcoat and post-90's quasi mullet)

We don't really need to discuss his lack of humor, football knowledge, or ability to carry on a sports-themed conversation. Okay, so the Dennis Miller experiment didn't work. Now we have to find someone else to fill this role in the booth...

(Stage left: enter Tony Kornheiser)

Alright. Finally! Someone I enjoy. I love Pardon The Interruption, and whenever Tony is absent from the show I get bummed out, because he and Wilbon have a great on screen dynamic, and play off eachother's particular passions, favorite teams, and favorite sports. He couldn't possibly screw up Monday Night Football...

Wrong. Besides the countless times he mentioned Brett Favre (by the way, let me just say something. He personally said numerous times on PTI that Aaron Rodgers needs to have a great season to remove the whole "comparison thing" with Brett Favre...essentially putting the ball in Rodgers' court, saying he'd lay off as a commentator and give Rodgers his chance. Well, how can he do this if you CONTINUE TO COMPARE HIM TO FAVRE???), he failed to find a way to comment on Rodgers' play without comparing him to the great Brett Favre.

I wanted to share a few gems, a few "nuggets" of wisdom that couldn't possibly do anything BUT add to the net worth of this broadcast.

As you know, the NFL is honoring the late Gene Upshaw, former player and long-time president of the NFL Player's Association, but having the "GU" painted logo on the field this season, as well as having all players wear a "GU" patch on their jersey during all week 1 games. As I said, he worked with the NFLPA and helped players' rights w/ regard to contracts and collective baragaining agreements. On Upshaw, Kornheiser noted...

"A lot of people out there are making a lot of money because of this man..."

Really? That's great insight, Tony. Jew, is it? The man didn't contribute anything to the game of football besides garnering larger contracts for players? You're an idiot.

"I was an English major"

We know. That's why you're a well-known journalist. Nothing about being an award-winning journalist automatically means you make a great broadcaster. Or a good broadcaster. Or a mediocre...ok, I think you see where this is going. Stick to the papers and PTI, stay off my football games.

"If they [Packers] go any further back they'll be in Michigan"

Okay, almost funny. Lambeau field runs North-South, and the Packers were defending the North endzone at the time, so yes, geographically speaking they could have gone north to the Upper Penninsula of Michigan...okay, I'm nuking this one out. It wasn't funny, and Kornheiser is a moron.

"I call this the great gamble of the 2008 season. It's like John McCain picking Sarah Palin."

Hmm...somebody please tell me what football has to do with politics? And what percentage of the viewing public (including the entire state of Wisconsin, by the way, who were far more concentrated on ushering in a new era of Packers football and could care less about political satire right now) really cares what Tony Kornheiser thinks about John McCain and his choice for a running mate? We watch football to watch football, not to hear who the announcers are voting for in the upcoming general election.

Green Bay did not take a gamble in sticking with Aaron Rodgers and sending Favre packing. Brett Favre took a gamble by expecting the Packers to take him back after RETIRING. If your New York skull is too thick to understand this, get off the air.

Finally, someone told him to shut up, and I'll leave you with this last comparison of Aaron Rodgers to Brett Favre.

"That's Exactly the kind of pass Favre would have thrown. Does it remind you of him at all?" - Tony Kornheiser

"Yes, but you've got to let it go, Tony." - Ron Jaworski

Thanks Jaws.

1 comment:

Motherscratcher said...

Freakin' great post Dubbs. First time I've been here. (I'm a little slow sometimes.) I'll be back to catch up on your old stuff too.

You might regret that I finally found you as I tend to leave dumbass, nonsensical comments on all of my favorite blogs that are only funny to me.

Take care of my boy AJ Hawk up there, and I'll be back around.