Fantasy Baseball: Pawtucket Patriots

My 2009 Fantasy Baseball team is the "Pawtucket Patriots", lovingly named of course after the fictional beer in the show "Family Guy". I hate the real Patriots, and most things New England, but I thought this was my most clever name for a fantasy team yet.

Anyhow, as the league manager it of course makes all the sense in the world that the lottery for the draft day position would deliver me the #8 of 8 teams. Glorious. My team isn't too bad, though.

Here are the inaugural season uniforms of the Pawtucket Patriots, with home, road, and home alternate uniforms included.

I have also gotten a hold of the starting lineup sheet for tonight's (this week's) matchup against The Red Hots. To my advantage, The Red Hots are surprisingly not starting anyone at 3rd base this week...which should help. Truth be told, last week I played the Remington Rebels (who themselves decided not to start a second baseman, and they still beat me). After that, I had to make a few roster changes. Here's tonight's lineup...


Tonight's game is brought to you in part by Pawtucket Patriot Ale.

Stephen Drew...Fantasy Nightmare

A-Rod is still not healthy, and occupying a nice spot on my DL. My #1 overall pick of the draft hasn't played a game yet. Rather than spend 2 early picks on the left side of my infield, I waited until later to get a SS/3B that would fill the roster until A-Rod returned. That pick was the 84th overall selection...Arizona shortstop Stephen Drew.

He was placed on the DL yesterday, retroactive to Saturday. Why the D-backs waited so long to do so baffles me - and pisses me off as well. In the only 9 trips he made to the plate last week (not playing because he was injured...but of course NOT on the DL) he managed 1 hit, and scored me only 3 points.

Now, the reason I need A-Rod back is not only the points he will earn, but his starting spot is 3rd base - which means I can then move Brandon Inge to Catcher (yes, he's also a catcher) and finally get Veritek on the friggin bench. My #5 overall pick of the draft was Twins C Joe Mauer - also still on the DL. Sonofa.

I'm not a member of the Blogger fantasy league, but I do like that they have uniforms and such. I think I'll work on those today, it's a slow monday at work.

2009 Upper Deck Artifacts

A friend of mine had sent me the link on facebook for the new "music video" from The Lonely Island (oddball brainchild musical group of Saturday Night Live favorite Andy Samberg) entitled "I'm On A Boat" featuring hip-hop artist T-Pain. If you've not seen their work, I encourage you to watch this and this. I'll wait, trust me it's worth it. WARNING: ADULT CONTENT - EXPLICIT LYRICS AND SUGGESTIVE CONTENT.

Also, if you haven't seen the movie "Hot Rod", I recommend that as well. It's from the same guys, except on the big screen and plus Danny McBride - who is badassly funny.

So - what does all of this have to do with BASEBALL??? Well, after watching the music video for "I'm on a Boat", i had to go to the store to pick up their debut CD, which has all of these songs, plus a lot of Adam Sandler-esque comedy skits on it. While I was there, I thought I'd take the opportunity to check out their baseball cards, as I haven't purchased any new cards in quite a while, probably a couple months.

I picked up a few packs of 2009 Upper Deck First Edition, which still confuses me as the most poorly named annual baseball card series, because it comes out AFTER Series 1 does. I don't get it. I'll post those in a couple days. I also picked up a pack of 2009 Upper Deck Artifacts, at $2.99 it was just a retail pack. I wanted to get the blaster, but figured if I just got a taste of it, and a few packs of the First Edition, I could also treat the wife to lunch at our favorite Mexican place for the same price as 1 blaster of the stuff. Turns out, I was right and the Tacos Tijuana I ordered were just amazing. Carne Asada, good stuff.

Here are the modest 5 cards in the $2.99 retail pack of '09 UD Artifacts I bought.

#4 Adam Dunn

Adam Dunn now plays for the Washington Nationals, not the D-backs. WTF, Upper Deck? These cards say "copyright (symbol) 2009" on them. Confusion, perhaps? Maybe they were printed before February 11th, when the Dunn/Nationals deal was announced to the press. My guess is Upper Deck just doesn't take the necessary effort, per the usual.

#37 Dan Uggla (red variation)

I like Dan Uggla - he helped my fantasy team to the playoffs last season, where I lost in the World Series to my sister-in-law. Yes, that's right, the woman that married my brother. I can hear your boos and hisses now. She had the best pitching staff possible, so I was sure to invite her last this year to the fantasy league to insure she'd be in the opposite division as me. I'm a schemer. Anyhow, back to the Uggla card. Like the "red" (pink) variation, I'm sure there's a better shad of "red" that UD could have found. This guy is all business, and he shows it here.

#193 "Voyager 2 Records Neptune" Historical Moments

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I think Heritage does enough for the card collecting public in the areas of History and Nostalgia. Dumb card, and apparently worth $0.60 according to the price of the pack. I could have a soda at work tomorrow for that price. Instead I'm stuck with a "baseball" card of a satellite.

#904 UD 20th Anniversary Retrospective "Dallas Cowboys"

This is a card of a football team. In a pack of baseball cards. I don't collect football cards, I collect baseball cards. Therefore, I only purchase baseball cards and not football cards. I want my money back, Upper Deck.

The fifth card was #20 Rich Harden, but he plays for the team that shall not be named nor pictured in this blog.

All in all, I'd say this 5-card offering from Upper Deck Artifacts was quite weak, but it's just a small cross section of the set that I'm not afforded enough of an experience to come up with an offical decision. I like the cards, The look is very regal and official, and forced me to order the Ryan Braun card on eBay already. I like this set a lot, just bummed about the pack I came away with. That $2.99 could have paid for the 3 beers I had today while watching the Brewers lose to the Astros - the 3 beers that helped me come even closer to trading Rickie Weeks myself, saving the Brewers organization the embarassment of having wasted so many years on a horrible second baseman.

Dental Hot Dam(n)!

I of course am referring to our resident dental expert, Motherscratcher from Achiever Card Blog. I am also making a reference to the movie "Knocked Up", when Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl (mmmm) are talking about how she could have become pregnant...hilarious. Anyways, I'll try to keep this at least PG-13. If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask your parents.

Motherscratcher and myself have a bit of a love-hate relationship. I love Craig Counsell, and he hates all things Counsell. He is absolutely justified in his feelings - however misdirected they may be. I told him to hate Edgar Renteria instead, Counsell was merely the winning run, not the walk-off hitter. Oh well. So you see, it's love hate.

I recently read his post that addressed why one should post an "appreciation" write-up immediately after receiving a brick of cards from someone, not a couple months later. I chose the later, posting this nearly 2 months after receiving his cards. See man, I do appreciate it! Thanks again Motherscratcher, D.D.S. - man, that's a great title for an early 90's sitcom. Screw NPH, I want Kramer!

Ryan Braun, 2008 UD Heroes #97 (307/399)

Awesome card here. This is a curious set for me. I purchased a couple blasters of it earlier this year at a discounted price from the local K-mart. I guess sometimes my dedication to the craft is less than perfect - this is a prime example. I reallized that there are a number of different variations (blue, aqua, red, purple, charcoal, etc) and I didn't want to start collecting the Brauns until I had received one from someone. This started the ball rolling. I'm bidding on the rest on eBay right now. Help me out a bit, if you have any of the other colors, let me know!

'98 Score Select #22 Robin Yount, #42 Paul Molitor

This Yount is one of only 3 Younts that I don't have (in the base set 1975-1994 Yount binder) so first of all, KICK ASS! Now I just need the '93 Flair Yount, and of course, the big Kahuna, 1975 Topps Yount RC. I have been waiting to buy his rookie card because it will be a big celebration for me, completing the "major sets base card Yount set". Of course, all the oddballs like the '94 Tombstone Pizza card or the '76 Hostess panel will keep me working at this forever, not to mention all the posthumous Yount cards that Upper Deck and SP feel the need to make year after year.

1988 Fleer #171 Dan Plesac, 2004 Topps Cracker Jack #162 Wes Helms

What can I say that hasn't been said about Plesac already? It's all been said. I think for some reason, people fail to look past his semi-respectable career stats and into the hearts of Brewers fans - which, thanks to Dan, are still scarred from the games he absolutely boned. In my home growing up, his name was the ONLY name that was never uttered without the preamble of "Dammit!!". Does that make sense? "Dammit, Plesac!". Okay. But seriously, this is a neat card because it's in the category of "American League pitchers holding a bat" cards, which I always enjoy coming across. Those oh-so-clever photogs, man.

The Helms card is my first Brewers Cracker Jack card. Never was a big Wes Helms fan, of course it's hard to cheer for a guy who gives himself a major knee injury during a rain delay. No kidding.

1987 Donruss #486 Bill Schroeder

Aside from San Diego's Mark Grant, "Rock" is possibly the best color commentary guy in baseball. His years of actually usefull experience in the game really add to it, as he not only shares funny stories, but the ins, the outs, and the what have you's of dugout and clubhouse life. The Brewers FSN broadcast each game has a segment called "Tavern of the Game", which of course is sponsored by the Tavern League of Wisconsin. If they are selected during the broadcast, they have until the following morning (because when you're drinking at a bar during a Brewers game, nobody remembers to call in that night) to call in and claim their 30 or 40 free Brewers tickets. Anyhow, Rock seems to have been to every one of the bars that win this contest. A couple days ago the winning bar was "UpChucks" in Arcadia, WI. Good stuff. Rock had fun with that one.

1983 Topps #424 Jerry Augustine

Another former Brewers player that is part of the television broadcast team now. "Auggie" takes the place that Jeff Cirillo had in the studio last year. Even though I live about 1,750 miles from where I grew up, I always feel like I'm at home whenever they put Auggie on the screen. The guys sounds just like everyone I grew up around. I'll attempt to give you an example, bear with me. Here's what it sounds like : "So da Brewers should have da win tanite if dey can close er out wit Coffey an dem." Here's what that means in English: "So, the Brewers should have the win tonight they can close out the ballgame with Coffey and the rest of the bullpen". I love that this guy is on primetime television.

1992 Topps Stadium Club #502 Jim Gantner

I didn't have this card either, so that's the first plus. The second thing I like about this card is how it ties together two different generations of Brewers, in TWO different ways! Stay with me now as I try to explain. You see, Jim Gantner played for Milwaukee for the entirety of his 12 year career. He now manages the Wisconsin Woodchucks of the Northwoods League (an NCAA summer league) in Wausau, Wisconsin. That's the first part. The second "tie" in this card is the first baseman - Cecil Fielder. He of course is the father of current Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder. Nice. I showed this card to my wife, asking her what was so special about it. She said "Oh wow, that's Fatty's dad playing first base!". Yes sweetheart, it is in fact Fatty's dad.

1979 Topps #596 Jim Wohlford

Jim only played for Milwaukee for 3 seasons, and was never what you would call an "All-Star", but he had a great glove - so I'm told. I don't remember him, too young you see. What I do know about him, and what most people don't know about him, is he came up with one of the most famous baseball one-liners of all time - one that is often attributed to Yogi Berra. He was the one who originally said "Ninety percent of this game is half-mental". Sounds just like something Yogi would say, so I understand the confusion. Nice card.

Ernie Riles (1988 Fleer #172, 1988 Donruss #478)

There's a guy who plays for San Francisco right now, Eugenio Valez, who looks just like Riles. I swear, the first time I saw him (last year during a Giants/Brewers game) I thought it WAS Riles. Valez is 6'1'', and only runs about 160 lbs. That's probably when he's soaking wet, with rocks in his pockets. Ernie Riles suffered way too many injuries, but in '85 he finished 3rd in Rookie of the Year voting, behind Ozzie Guillen and Teddy Higuera. That's heavy company man.

Ned Yost (2006 Upper Deck #1113, 1982 Topps #542)

He even looked like a douchebag in 1982.

1993 Upper Deck Teammates #43 - Paul Molitor, Pat Listach, Robin Yount

Ah, yes. Brew Crew. This card will always be one of my all-time favorite Brewers cards. It is the old guard, and what was at one time the promising new guard - in Pat Listach. He won the '92 AL Rookie of the Year, but only played for 6 seasons in baseball. Last year he managed AAA-Iowa for the f*ckin baby bears organization, but I am pleased to say that this year he is the third base coach for the Washington Nationals. Hells ya, welcome back Pat.

Check out the folks at the game who are forever immortalized in cardboard...

Finally, I want to close this "Thank You" post with a tribute to Motherscratcher, and his appreciation for the Subhelmet Hat Alliance. I give you Mr. Dion James.

Almost a No-No for Bush

I didn't plan on doing back-to-back Dave Bush posts, but things just kinda worked out that way.

Dave Bush took a no-hitter into the 8th inning today as the Brewers battled the Phillies during their rubber match in Philly. With one out, pinch-hitting Matt Stairs (a former Brewer) saw a 3-1 pitch that he liked, and the rest is history. Solo shot.

Amidst the Brewers struggles at the mound, Bush showed Brewers fans once again why he is in the starting rotation. He'd had a pretty rough couple of outings before today's start, but finally receiving some run support (six runs) from his teammates seems to make the difference for Bushy. He finally gets his first decision, a 7 2/3 effort that yielded only one run.

This was the second time Dave Bush had taken a no-hitter into the 8th inning. The last time was June 19th of last season against the Toronto Blue Jays.

The hit that broke up that no-no came off the bat of Lyle Overbay. Another former Brewer. Talk about no love for your former mates.

TTM Dave Bush

As of late, I find myself being reminded by fellow bloggers (Motherscratcher, and Patricia & Lucy) that the season is young. Some players just have slow starts, that's all. Perhaps these souls are correct, and things will turn around for the Brew Crew. A 4-9 start isn't what I had in mind, but then again, how a season starts most often has no bearing on how it will finish. At this point in the season in 1987, Milwaukee had just been handed it's first loss. Their record on Earth Day that year was 13-1. Two weeks later, they would begin a streak of 12 straight losses. They failed to make the playoffs that year.

Words of encouragement seem to mean a lot more coming from a Cleveland Indians fan, for surely they would know about patience and such. I know of a dentist in Ohio who must be the most patient of baseball fans.

As bad as the Brewers are playing right now, one thing hasn't changed about my outlook on the game: the cards. In fact, even though Milwaukee can't pitch their way out of a wet paper bag, new cards continue to come out, which means more Ryan Braun cards for me to get my hands on. And this I like.

I also like it when CURRENT PLAYERS send back the cards I sent them at the beginning of Spring Training. Today's TTM auto is from Brewers pitcher Dave Bush, whose slow start this season just means that he's wearing a Brewers uniform. Bushy has been Milwaukee's most consistent pitcher over the last 3 seasons, averaging 12 wins per. Of course these stats should mean very little to someone whose team doesn't call the smallest media market in all of baseball home, but to a Brewers fan this means a lot.

Now, if only I had sent a note with the letter I DID send with the card, reminding Bushy to allow the ink to dry before placing the card back in the sleeve. Dammit.

Go Crew.

****ing Amateurs...

Tonight the pain hurts...too much. I was looking forward to tonight's Brewers v. Phillies game for a few reasons. First of all, the wife and I went camping this past weekend up in Olympic National Forest, and missed all but 3 innings of the Brewers/Mets series. Second of all, 4 days (during the season) without baseball is too much for me to handle. Also, the wife worked during the day today, so our joint trip to the gym was split up into two trips, and her gym fun is right now (during the current Brewers cluster**** that is game 1 vs. Philadelphia)...which means nothing but me, the Brew Crew, and a couple cold ones...


...however, thanks to the Phillies' INSANE lineup (who was Pat Burrell?) and Milwaukee's inability to field a pitcher who can actually perform his duties, the Phil's lead is 11-3 in the 7th inning. We're losing to a guy who is 45 years old. We have brought in our backup catcher. Our second baseman tonight is a current Cubs' castoff. Our shortstop is batting around .100 . Man, this is not fun.

This, however, is the only ray of sunshine on this rainy night in Philly...